Connor. [Hank doesn’t know how to remain stoic for this, so he doesn’t even try. Hands clasped in his lap.] There are kids here. Kids barely older than Cole.
And I’m sure Solmara has kids too, but that just means we have to save both.
Yeah, yeah. Can’t tell me this, can’t tell me that. Wasn’t a question anyway, Connor.
[There’s another long, long stretch of Etraya devoid of remarkable landmarks. And it’s not remarkable, per se, but the trolley stops outside the diner and Hank stiffens. Looking down at Sumo till they pass.]
[Connor has the distinct feeling that Hank is growing more irritated with him. Perhaps they do need to spend some time apart, if just to keep Hank from strangling Connor. When the trolley stops at the diner, the instinct to get out rises. However, just as quickly as they've stopped, they've begun moving again.]
Not angry with you, Connor. How would you feel if our roles were reversed and I couldn't tell you anything? If I were set on this mission to get a bunch of people killed? If you felt powerless to help me? How would that make you feel, Connor? Because I imagine you’d feel pretty goddamn shitty.
Yeah? [Sometimes Hank forgets there’s so much that this Connor didn’t get to experience. He hopes he’s made up for it in part, despite knowing he never really could.]
Do you...? I mean, I don’t have my gun. [Which would have been real nice during that whole spider debacle.]
No, but I’m sure I could find one. [Accelerator might know. Which is extremely fucked up, but... desperate times, desperate measures. Aurora? Would Aurora give him a gun?]
I could find you a gun, Connor.
[And all the implications that sentence holds: asking Connor to wield it. To shoot, if necessary.]
[The programming is all clicking together. If he can have Hank on this task, thinking it will help, then Connor would have room to do what he needs to bring down Etraya.
As long as Hank doesn't somehow acquire a weapon before Connor can get to that point.]
[And is Hank scared? Not yet. Mostly he’s relieved. Jittery.
After the main thoroughfare, the trolley continues on to what looks like a sports stadium. Hank remembers seeing the building vaguely, although it’s more interesting in daytime. Sports? Etraya??
He takes a few pictures, regardless, before asking:]
Do you know what happens when people die here? The whole losing something?
Thought it might be the same. But you haven’t forgotten anything, have you? [Shrugging his shoulders as he says:] Guess you wouldn’t remember if you did. But what I’m trying to ask is...
[Hank pats the camera in his lap.]
If you shot me, Connor. And I died. And I forgot something — something real important. Is this still something you can go through with? Not trying to dissuade you — you know I’m not — it’s just... added pressure that you don’t need.
[That’s one thing that finally got Hank to stop longing for death here: what if he forgot Cole? Connor? And once, that almost sounded ideal: forgetting everything until there was nothing left.
Now, Hank embraces that pain. Those memories. Even though it’s hard.]
[Hank isn’t sure what else to say. That he’s willing to give up whatever it takes for Connor? He doesn’t want to lose anything, but for Connor’s freedom?
Whatever it takes.
Sumo, tiring of the floor, hops up onto the seats in front of them. Turning to look at Connor with those big, droopy eyes of his.]
[The last Hank has to say on the subject, maybe. Hopefully. Has he been clear enough? It’s hard when all he wants to do is clam up, let anger silence him — as if that might help either of them.]
What do you think about Etraya so far? Or is that something you can’t tell me?
[Hank asks this with a playful lilt. Trying to mask his anxiety. His fear. His worry.]
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[As sad of a place as Solmara is, the programming steps in again.]
It’s possible.
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It’s possible what? Possible they’d be safe? Possible your Aurora-whoever equivalent would hurt them?
[Hank scowls: not because of Connor, just the situation.]
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[The same old song being sung once more. Connor gets up from his place near the floor to return to the window.]
cn: mention of Cole ;;
Connor. [Hank doesn’t know how to remain stoic for this, so he doesn’t even try. Hands clasped in his lap.] There are kids here. Kids barely older than Cole.
And I’m sure Solmara has kids too, but that just means we have to save both.
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I can’t tell you, Hank.
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Yeah, yeah. Can’t tell me this, can’t tell me that. Wasn’t a question anyway, Connor.
[There’s another long, long stretch of Etraya devoid of remarkable landmarks. And it’s not remarkable, per se, but the trolley stops outside the diner and Hank stiffens. Looking down at Sumo till they pass.]
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You're angry with me.
the strangling noooo 😭 Hank use your words pls
Not angry with you, Connor. How would you feel if our roles were reversed and I couldn't tell you anything? If I were set on this mission to get a bunch of people killed? If you felt powerless to help me? How would that make you feel, Connor? Because I imagine you’d feel pretty goddamn shitty.
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Kamski's test. That's the closest I've come to deviating. [But they don't have any--
Max has a gun. Max came with a gun. But who would be so close that Connor would find issue with shooting? Robert? Hank?]
cn: spider mention
Yeah? [Sometimes Hank forgets there’s so much that this Connor didn’t get to experience. He hopes he’s made up for it in part, despite knowing he never really could.]
Do you...? I mean, I don’t have my gun. [Which would have been real nice during that whole spider debacle.]
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Do you know of anyone with a gun?
[He's not technically lying, not yet.]
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No, but I’m sure I could find one. [Accelerator might know. Which is extremely fucked up, but... desperate times, desperate measures. Aurora? Would Aurora give him a gun?]
I could find you a gun, Connor.
[And all the implications that sentence holds: asking Connor to wield it. To shoot, if necessary.]
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As long as Hank doesn't somehow acquire a weapon before Connor can get to that point.]
You could?
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Somebody’s gotta have one. [Hank shrugs.] Or know where to get one. There’s a whole ass shooting range, so — sure it’s not difficult.
[Of course the trolley’s already passed the shooting range...!]
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We may be able to force the deviancy that way.
[And maybe it will give Hank some hope to hold onto until Connor completes his mission.]
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Yeah. Yeah, all right.
[This gives Hank his own little mission. Something to wrap his head around. Something to do.]
Then you’re gonna... [Is he going to say it? Does he need to?] Jesus.
[Hank doesn’t envy Connor here.]
Can you do it, do you think? I mean — fuck, Connor.
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[Still not a lie, but Connor is stretching the limits of his ability to lie by omission.]
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I’m sorry to... put you through all this.
[And is Hank scared? Not yet. Mostly he’s relieved. Jittery.
After the main thoroughfare, the trolley continues on to what looks like a sports stadium. Hank remembers seeing the building vaguely, although it’s more interesting in daytime. Sports? Etraya??
He takes a few pictures, regardless, before asking:]
Do you know what happens when people die here? The whole losing something?
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[That and falling to his death.]
cn: suicide ideation + mention of Cole
Thought it might be the same. But you haven’t forgotten anything, have you? [Shrugging his shoulders as he says:] Guess you wouldn’t remember if you did. But what I’m trying to ask is...
[Hank pats the camera in his lap.]
If you shot me, Connor. And I died. And I forgot something — something real important. Is this still something you can go through with? Not trying to dissuade you — you know I’m not — it’s just... added pressure that you don’t need.
[That’s one thing that finally got Hank to stop longing for death here: what if he forgot Cole? Connor? And once, that almost sounded ideal: forgetting everything until there was nothing left.
Now, Hank embraces that pain. Those memories. Even though it’s hard.]
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[And the cracks in his programming become more pronounced.]
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But if you did, Connor.
[Hank isn’t sure what else to say. That he’s willing to give up whatever it takes for Connor? He doesn’t want to lose anything, but for Connor’s freedom?
Whatever it takes.
Sumo, tiring of the floor, hops up onto the seats in front of them. Turning to look at Connor with those big, droopy eyes of his.]
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I won't kill you.
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But if you did. I’d forgive you, Connor.
[The last Hank has to say on the subject, maybe. Hopefully. Has he been clear enough? It’s hard when all he wants to do is clam up, let anger silence him — as if that might help either of them.]
What do you think about Etraya so far? Or is that something you can’t tell me?
[Hank asks this with a playful lilt. Trying to mask his anxiety. His fear. His worry.]
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He’s grateful for the question.]
The people seem nice.
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