[Until Connor is deviant, anyway. Which will be soon, Hank hopes — not that he’s really any closer to figuring out what might trigger that. Because the thought, the near certainty, of Hank dying hasn’t helped. Nor has Connor’s injuries.]
Then we can see all of it. Every nook and cranny. [The bounce castle! The weird camp where Hank was held prisoner! Lots to see, probably. Made interesting by present company.
They’re still in the part of Etraya that’s familiar to Hank: the last of the shops. He’s never been much north of this.]
Was meeting up with someone. Didn’t even know there was a church before all that. Suppose it’s a common enough place, though.
[Although who thinks “I want to bring a church over to Etraya that’s falling apart, and has this weird bed of flowers in it?? Hank has no idea.]
Nah. [He grabs the camera from his bag and takes a few pictures of the castle.] Just seems like an odd thing to bring to Etraya. Kinda ominous, huh? I mean, whoever did is probably used to that kind of thing. Can’t imagine bringing over my house.
Yeah. Although I’ve been thinking about someplace bigger, actually.
[Hank absentmindedly scratches the side of his neck, looking down at Sumo, who’s made the floor his new drool palace.]
Thought it would be nice to get Sumo a big yard to laze around in. Haven’t been sure where, though.
[Looking up at Connor now.]
Then you came along. Been more focused on you. [Hank offers a gap-toothed smile.] Was worried I’d fuck it up, too — accidentally make you assume I was trying to leave you behind or get away from you, or something. Which isn’t the case.
Good. ‘Cause I don’t. Just, y’know — trying to be more clear here. We’ve had quite a few misunderstandings already, huh?
[And there will undoubtedly be more...!]
The sort that could’ve been solved real quick if I were better at talking. And the sort that would’ve never happened at all if I had kept my mouth shut.
[Hank catches that “if.“ Progress, perhaps? Or is that wishful thinking? He sighs, still having little to go on in the way of deviancy triggers.]
I know, Connor. I know you don’t wanna leave. And I don’t want you to leave, either. We’ll get to where we need to be.
[Next up on their trolley adventure: a large house surrounded by dead trees, up in the middle of nowhere. Looks like the setting of a horror movie. Hank takes a few pictures, regardless.]
You do. But that’s just your thing. Just like, well — you work with a lot of my things. And we do okay despite all that.
[Connor is good at dealing with him. Does Hank get irritable? Sure. But with most people, they don’t manage to break through those ornery outer layers. Most people don’t care to, and Hank doesn’t blame them.
Once, he would have told himself that makes things easier. Push people away. Keep them away. Now? He’s not quite as sure.
It’s lonely, for one. And Hank is tired of being lonely.]
Would be nice if we could all just get along. I figure Solmara’s got their own Aurora-Echo–whoever. They ever try talking, d’you think?
[Connor finds a moment as he's staring out the window. A brief crystalline moment when he can look out the window and see himself in the reflection. It's like what they tried before.
Connor can talk to himself, but not Hank.]
She killed it. The AI. Solmara is in ruin because we can't rely on the AI to replenish provisions.
We’re not going to let that happen, Connor. Once you deviate, we can figure this shit out. We’ll help as many people as we can. And that’s... something worth deviating for, yeah?
[He can’t help how small his voice sounds as he fishes. For a bite. A nibble. Anything.]
What is enough? [Hank isn’t asking Connor, really. He knows he doesn’t have the answer.] ‘Cause it’s not me dying. Not you dying. Hell, not everyone else dying.
[There’s a long stretch before any more landmarks of note outside. Then there are a smattering of buildings, one marked “Shooting Range.” Hmm. Another mansion, this one less weird looking than the last.]
[Connor thinks he might know where that tipping point lies, that it has to do with Hank in some kind of danger, but Connor doesn't think it will trip until they are in the moment.
He can also feel the weight of what must be Hank's disappointment, imagined or otherwise.]
I know. I know you’re trying, Connor. I’m not mad at you. I know you have it in you — you’ve goddamn done it before. I’m just...
[Sumo looks up at Connor. Yawns.]
Mad at myself. Mad at everything but you. Mad at the world — the worlds — for putting you in one shitty situation after the other. And I’m just here like a rubbernecking fucker, unable to do anything so I just gawk, because what the hell else am I supposed to do?
[Hank wants to believe that he matters, somehow. In relation to Connor’s deviancy. Wants to believe he isn’t as useless as he feels. And maybe he helped push Connor in the right direction before — now too, hopefully — but back home, he wasn’t there when Connor deviated. Hank wasn’t dying.
So how useful is he, really?]
I’ll do what I can, Connor. You know that. But I’m not... not some all powerful being, you know?
[He doesn’t want to fail Connor even though he doesn’t know what to do. Doesn’t want to fail him like he failed Cole. Failed everyone he’s ever loved.
But there is no clear path here. Not yet. What to do? What not to do? Only time will tell, and Hank isn’t a patient man. Not when it comes to the safety of this stupid world and its inhabitants — and Solmara’s — who don’t deserve to die.
And not when it comes to Connor, either. Especially. His safety. His happiness.
Hank thinks of saying, too, that he doesn’t think he’s necessary for Connor’s deviancy. But he bites the words back, both because he’s voiced the sentiment before and because it doesn’t matter. What he thinks changes nothing. What matters is that Connor thinks he’s relevant, somehow.]
You told me before. That you’d do the right thing. [Hank looks down at Connor. Squinting.] That’s still true, yeah?
I have confidence I will do the right thing. [Connor replies with a furrowed brow. His mismatched fingers create a path as he pets Sumo. He looks up at Hank with no such certainty or confidence in his gaze.
What if he follows his programming to its end? What if he can't escape it in time? What if he hurts Hank in the process?
Connor isn't sure if there is any way he could ever forgive himself, even if forgiveness is a very human, a very deviant need.]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-27 09:28 pm (UTC)[Wanting anything is a sign of deviancy, though Connor has started to express wants and desires. He's not comfortable with saying so.]
I haven't downloaded any information about the layout of Etraya. I suppose I'd like to see all of it.
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Date: 2025-02-27 09:42 pm (UTC)So I just gotta guess, huh? Is that it?
[Until Connor is deviant, anyway. Which will be soon, Hank hopes — not that he’s really any closer to figuring out what might trigger that. Because the thought, the near certainty, of Hank dying hasn’t helped. Nor has Connor’s injuries.]
Then we can see all of it. Every nook and cranny. [The bounce castle! The weird camp where Hank was held prisoner! Lots to see, probably. Made interesting by present company.
They’re still in the part of Etraya that’s familiar to Hank: the last of the shops. He’s never been much north of this.]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-27 09:47 pm (UTC)I think the trolley is an excellent way to see most, if not all, of Etraya.
[Connor makes mental notes of the shops as they pass them. None seem to be the source of Aurora's abilities.]
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Date: 2025-02-28 03:59 am (UTC)I’ll try to remember to ask, then. Until...
[Until Connor is deviant. But it’s not as if that’ll change everything. Hank should still work on his communication issues. His assuming issues.]
Would’ve had to walk all this way before. Had to walk my ass down to the church in the middle of the night.
[Now Hank can just take the trolley!!
To their left, what appears to be a large stone castle sort of structure looms in the distance.]
Some weirdos live there, I bet.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 04:04 am (UTC)Do you know them?
I’m laughing because Vincent lives there but Hank doesn’t know LOL
Date: 2025-02-28 04:09 am (UTC)Was meeting up with someone. Didn’t even know there was a church before all that. Suppose it’s a common enough place, though.
[Although who thinks “I want to bring a church over to Etraya that’s falling apart, and has this weird bed of flowers in it?? Hank has no idea.]
Nah. [He grabs the camera from his bag and takes a few pictures of the castle.] Just seems like an odd thing to bring to Etraya. Kinda ominous, huh? I mean, whoever did is probably used to that kind of thing. Can’t imagine bringing over my house.
vincent is having connor call him father vincent >>
Date: 2025-02-28 04:12 am (UTC)[It would make sense if Hank didn't want to bring the whole house. An apartment just big enough for the two of them and Sumo.]
WHEEZING that guy I stg 💗
Date: 2025-02-28 04:20 am (UTC)Yeah. Although I’ve been thinking about someplace bigger, actually.
[Hank absentmindedly scratches the side of his neck, looking down at Sumo, who’s made the floor his new drool palace.]
Thought it would be nice to get Sumo a big yard to laze around in. Haven’t been sure where, though.
[Looking up at Connor now.]
Then you came along. Been more focused on you. [Hank offers a gap-toothed smile.] Was worried I’d fuck it up, too — accidentally make you assume I was trying to leave you behind or get away from you, or something. Which isn’t the case.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 04:24 am (UTC)[It's just easier to assume Connor believes the worst right now, especially with Solmara's fate weighing heavily on his robotic shoulders.
And speaking of which,] If I ever have to return to Solmara, it will be because I am programmed to do so.
[There's an 'if' in there! He's feeling less certain about his mission.]
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Date: 2025-02-28 04:35 am (UTC)Good. ‘Cause I don’t. Just, y’know — trying to be more clear here. We’ve had quite a few misunderstandings already, huh?
[And there will undoubtedly be more...!]
The sort that could’ve been solved real quick if I were better at talking. And the sort that would’ve never happened at all if I had kept my mouth shut.
[Hank catches that “if.“ Progress, perhaps? Or is that wishful thinking? He sighs, still having little to go on in the way of deviancy triggers.]
I know, Connor. I know you don’t wanna leave. And I don’t want you to leave, either. We’ll get to where we need to be.
[Next up on their trolley adventure: a large house surrounded by dead trees, up in the middle of nowhere. Looks like the setting of a horror movie. Hank takes a few pictures, regardless.]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 04:39 am (UTC)[As if it weren't obvious enough that Connor takes most things literally.]
I want there to be a way where I could fulfill my mission and not hurt you or Etraya.
[Connor continues to peer out the window, curious as to the odd house.]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 04:47 am (UTC)You do. But that’s just your thing. Just like, well — you work with a lot of my things. And we do okay despite all that.
[Connor is good at dealing with him. Does Hank get irritable? Sure. But with most people, they don’t manage to break through those ornery outer layers. Most people don’t care to, and Hank doesn’t blame them.
Once, he would have told himself that makes things easier. Push people away. Keep them away. Now? He’s not quite as sure.
It’s lonely, for one. And Hank is tired of being lonely.]
Would be nice if we could all just get along. I figure Solmara’s got their own Aurora-Echo–whoever. They ever try talking, d’you think?
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 04:51 am (UTC)Connor can talk to himself, but not Hank.]
She killed it. The AI. Solmara is in ruin because we can't rely on the AI to replenish provisions.
My friends are starving.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 04:59 am (UTC)Why would she kill the AI? Did she not know that’d fuck everything up? Did she not care?
[And Hank figures Connor won’t be able to answer most of those questions, if any, but Hank is still baffled enough to ask.]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 05:05 am (UTC)We have to restore what we lost. Or everyone there will die.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 05:11 am (UTC)[Hank looks at Connor’s reflection.]
We’re not going to let that happen, Connor. Once you deviate, we can figure this shit out. We’ll help as many people as we can. And that’s... something worth deviating for, yeah?
[He can’t help how small his voice sounds as he fishes. For a bite. A nibble. Anything.]
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Date: 2025-02-28 05:14 am (UTC)I'm afraid it's not enough. I'm sorry, Hank.
[He sees Hank now too and ducks his head.]
There's only one way to save them.
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Date: 2025-02-28 05:19 am (UTC)What is enough? [Hank isn’t asking Connor, really. He knows he doesn’t have the answer.] ‘Cause it’s not me dying. Not you dying. Hell, not everyone else dying.
[There’s a long stretch before any more landmarks of note outside. Then there are a smattering of buildings, one marked “Shooting Range.” Hmm. Another mansion, this one less weird looking than the last.]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 05:25 am (UTC)He can also feel the weight of what must be Hank's disappointment, imagined or otherwise.]
When the moment comes, I'll know.
[And suddenly this trolley ride isn't that fun.]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 05:28 am (UTC)[That’s the crux of it, really: no one knows what it’ll take till they’re there.
And hopefully once they get to that point, it won’t be too late.]
Connor. [Hank sighs.] Look at me. And don’t just look at my reflection, I mean look at me.
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Date: 2025-02-28 05:31 am (UTC)I wish I knew. [His eyes drift downward, toward Sumo.] I wish I could flip it like a switch, but I can't.
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Date: 2025-02-28 05:36 am (UTC)I know. I know you’re trying, Connor. I’m not mad at you. I know you have it in you — you’ve goddamn done it before. I’m just...
[Sumo looks up at Connor. Yawns.]
Mad at myself. Mad at everything but you. Mad at the world — the worlds — for putting you in one shitty situation after the other. And I’m just here like a rubbernecking fucker, unable to do anything so I just gawk, because what the hell else am I supposed to do?
no subject
Date: 2025-02-28 05:39 am (UTC)I believe you'll be instrumental in my deviancy.
[As if that's any comfort. As if that changes anything Hank said.]
cn: mention of Cole 🥺
Date: 2025-02-28 05:51 am (UTC)[Hank wants to believe that he matters, somehow. In relation to Connor’s deviancy. Wants to believe he isn’t as useless as he feels. And maybe he helped push Connor in the right direction before — now too, hopefully — but back home, he wasn’t there when Connor deviated. Hank wasn’t dying.
So how useful is he, really?]
I’ll do what I can, Connor. You know that. But I’m not... not some all powerful being, you know?
[He doesn’t want to fail Connor even though he doesn’t know what to do. Doesn’t want to fail him like he failed Cole. Failed everyone he’s ever loved.
But there is no clear path here. Not yet. What to do? What not to do? Only time will tell, and Hank isn’t a patient man. Not when it comes to the safety of this stupid world and its inhabitants — and Solmara’s — who don’t deserve to die.
And not when it comes to Connor, either. Especially. His safety. His happiness.
Hank thinks of saying, too, that he doesn’t think he’s necessary for Connor’s deviancy. But he bites the words back, both because he’s voiced the sentiment before and because it doesn’t matter. What he thinks changes nothing. What matters is that Connor thinks he’s relevant, somehow.]
You told me before. That you’d do the right thing. [Hank looks down at Connor. Squinting.] That’s still true, yeah?
:<
Date: 2025-02-28 06:06 am (UTC)What if he follows his programming to its end? What if he can't escape it in time? What if he hurts Hank in the process?
Connor isn't sure if there is any way he could ever forgive himself, even if forgiveness is a very human, a very deviant need.]
I’m sorry I didn’t see the email for this :c
From:all good!
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From:OOF my heart 😭 OOF
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From:cn: mention of Cole ;;
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From:the strangling noooo 😭 Hank use your words pls
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From:cn: spider mention
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From:cn: suicide ideation + mention of Cole
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